never play flip cup with pint glasses
Everything about him screamed your future.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
