the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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