I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
