If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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