you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
