? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
