I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
