why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
