this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
