So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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