Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
