i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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