we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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