Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
