I'm drive I can fine osifer
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
