I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
