She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
