other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
