my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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