So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
