Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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