Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
