wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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