I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
