so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
