we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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