peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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