apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
do herpes really smell.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
