the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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