Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
