Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
