he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
