either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
