How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
