okay pat passed out under dana's car
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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