hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Still dying that you shit outside
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
