summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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