that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
