i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I am available for nakedness
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
