I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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