i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
