im about as happy as oj after his trial
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
