I like my sex mixed with concussions.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
