I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
