Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
