I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
