Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
