i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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