Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
