He is such a slut. More and more my type.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Do vagina's smell?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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