youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
No stitches, just platelets and will power
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
No subtext here. People are naked.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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