why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I fill condoms, not promises.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize