it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
