if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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