I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize