The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
