Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
