also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
