My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
