i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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